I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
