i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
