I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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