I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
