I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
