That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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