I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
