I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
