He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
