I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
