3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
