You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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