p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
