I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
