Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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