i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
