hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
