singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
