I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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