.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
