We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
