my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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