So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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