I showed him my bush... on skype.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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