I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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