they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
