some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
