are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
