So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
