i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
