its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
