IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
