Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
