Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
