I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You're like the curious george of whores
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
