Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
