i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
