One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
its not stalking. its research.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
