I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I want her autograph on my taint
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
