that's an acceptable place to lick
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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