so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
