at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
