Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
