You're completely useless in the revolution.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
it's like iHOP with fire
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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