You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
