So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
