pop tarts are not kleenex
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
