i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
