garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i barfeds in our rink
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
