You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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