were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
